Ok. I'm Reloaded.

Last Wednesday afternoon, I had been talking to GOD all day. It was to be my first day back at work following my month long leave of absence. At the start of the year, I decided to step out on faith and dedicate a month of intentional deep work to create a series focused on youth growing up in DC/Baltimore. I filmed and produced an episode for this years Black Film Festival series submission in a matter of weeks. It was a major accomplishment because I received the vision over five years ago and had never acted on it. That’s how I know GOD is working on me because I find myself doing more of what I’ve always wanted to do.

Anyways, back to last Wednesday… So, I was  sitting underneath the dryer trying to lay down my new growth up under my relaxer, before heading out for work. I was reading ‘Crazy Love’ by Francis Chan and he quoted ‘God is Holy. In Heaven exists a being who decides rather or not I have another breath. This holy God deserves excellence, the very best I have.’

Those words rocked me to my core because I had been in the gym 20 minutes prior struggling with long winded breaths and the mere thought of GOD choosing to cut those breaths short had me shook lol. So in that moment I was like, yo.. when I walk back into work today, I’ve got to bring the most comforting spirit to everyone I encounter. From my coworkers to guest.. because let’s face it.. I don’t fancy my workplace for various reasons but after the incredibly blessed month I had off, I wanted to come with a different approach despite how I had been feeling towards my job the past year..

Spiritually, I ain’t been messing with being a bartender anymore due to the fact, people I genuinely love and care about come into my job and I have to give them what they want… knowing that too much of it can alter their reality. I just be feeling a load of responsibility and guilt.. like I’m serving them poison. Now, I don’t want to sound like a hypocrite because I drink on occasions but I have an interesting relationship with alcohol. It stems from my family history as well as the study of the relationship between spirits and liquor or just the fact that I’ve filmed several of my close friends drunk out of their minds and observed them watching footage the following day frightened because they don’t recognize the person in the video… and of course they don’t because spirits are a very real thing. 

Anyways… I had been praying all morning and afternoon on and off because I just really wanted to have 1 of 2 things to happen. I return to work and I keep it cute and mute and just do my job to get through my 8 hours OR I take a note out of Crazy Love, where the author recited Corinthians 13 4-8 ‘love is patient, love is kind’ and I told myself Quay.. be patient and be kind to these people when you go into work. You’re not above anyone or below them so move like Jesus. Give people your time. Hold conversations. Be patient. So I did just that and ended up having a really beautiful work week. I made sure I brought Jesus all up into the devils playground with me and we did that. I still strongly desire to get the entire fudge up out of there but for now it’s where I’m called to be and I’m content on bringing this version of me.