Take some of me.

I’m always resistant… I don’t mess with anybody 100%. Not even my mother. She’s my favorite person though. I hope one day I can give all of me to someone. It’ll probably end up being my children. I’m looking forward to that real bad. At the same time though, as I fall deeper in love with GOD, I feel more inclined to share my shortcomings and be transparent with whomever— whenever. Irrespective of my desire to remain an enigma, my spirit keeps nudging me to share my story as it’s being written.

I’ve been a people pleaser for the majority of my life and I’ve gotten to a purified version of myself that will stand on business when it comes to no longer seeking approval or validation from anyone other than the 2 people and holy spirit responsible for my life. With that being said… when I say, weirdo activity is getting addressed… I’m speaking on it— every time but from a positive heart posture, because we’re all humans. Like Jersey, I’m New because that was never my steeze. I would sit on disturbances to my peace like I owed the world something. Shitting me.. I can no longer have the cloud I operate from floating through any pollution and that’s on hood.

Speaking of pollution— I’ve been a chimney since I got back from L.A. My shortcomings have been frequent due to my vices and I’ve had several do-overs for both Lent & Ramadan. Oh, and not to mention my boundaries have not been boundrying … My discipline has been trash too. I’m grateful though. In the midst of it all, I’m so grateful because this version of myself can detect oncoming chaos and prevent it simply by being obedient. I can remove myself from the equation and see where my distractions aka downfalls stem from and then ask GOD to order my steps to prevent me from being just a girl because that’s really what it is. I need to be a proverbs woman one day.

I thought it was ok to sit on the big comfy couch but spirit said the f***!? I still have some major plays to run that require my complete focus, passion and attention so I really don’t have the bandwidth to be playing with time. I need another vacation frfr but instead I’m going to just lock in. My grandmothers birthday and remembrance day is a month from yesterday so I plan on using the significance of those dates to set some very intentional deadlines and prepare for what the good Lord has in store for me next. Aside from my business desires, I hope it’s a man because I’m really not trying to have a hot girl summer.. I would prefer a wholesome holy girl summer with my mann my man my man. I think I’m ready. Only God knows.

Till next time.