Take a Shot for Me

I began reading the bible at the beginning of the year from front to back.. I try to commit to 6 pages a day with an occasional break on Sundays and a few lazy days here and there but for the most part, I’m on it. Even on the nights when tequila is on my breath. The scripture’s timing usually imitates life… Often mine specifically.  And after reading my bible last night while still slightly under the influence I found myself sobering up in a parable of conviction. 

I’m a Libra and with September ushering in my birthday at the end of the month,  I’ve been getting pretty turnt. Ok I got turnt twice. After coming off a majority sober summer with the exception of two very special occasions– my little cousin Katelyn’s wedding & meeting Xscape at the Queens of R&B Tour with my godsister. In the “spirit” of my birthday month, O and I have been turning up. Yesterday we had plans to go Kayaking and missed the window to do so because we got turnt. 

So we get home and I fall out on my bed. I’m just laying there disgusted at myself. I’m under the influence  and replaying the day in my head and making inferences for each time I chose violence over righteousness. Once I took that first shot, the latter was no longer an option though. I wasn’t wildin’ but I definitely fell short of expectations I had for myself in particular to my addictions and worldly impulses. It wasn’t a feeling of disappointment but more so a feeling of defeat. All brought on by Alcohol. I laid there annoyed that we didn’t get to go Kayaking until I finally dozed off. 

I woke up around 1am to consume high levels of H2O and surprisingly had a slight spark of energy. I checked my IG to see I had accidently posted a selfie I took earlier in the day. I looked really good so I wasn't bothered by it but at the same time I didn’t want to give too much of me, so I deleted it. So, I lay back down and remember  I hadn’t read my bible for the day and  open it up to where my blue ribbon bookmark was placed… Jeremiah 50:22. I’m only like three pages away from the next book, Lamentations so I knew it would be a short read. Plus, I’m still a little buzzed and questioning myself as to whether or not I was drinking Teremana earlier or if it was drinking me. Well long story short, the scripture I read was practically coming for my throat because the word “drunk” was mentioned a total of three times on the only three pages of scripture I  had to read. Of all GODs messages, of all his word… of all things mentioned in the bible and the word drunk appears to me three different times. Yeah…it was for me. It was for me and I’d be foolish not to take heed. 

Alcohol has cursed my own family, generationally.  Its ability to mildy control the flesh is WILD… I’ve witnessed it in me and somebodies probably witnessed it in you too. My favorite thing about liquor is how good it makes me feel-- in a lusty, act bad, bold, confident, careless and courageous type of way. I brag different under the influence.. Yet still… I feel deeply convicted to stop drinking after Jeremiah 50:22. At least for now, because I’m not a finished product and someday I do plan on being super faded with my husband at our wedding. But for now I’ma go head and  check myself before I wreck myself because in the past I’ve realized when I ignore these callings, I usually end up having to make harder decisions down the line. So, please if you are reading this… Take a shot for me.